*sigh* My youngest love turns one today. My hands can't touch her soft skin enough, my lips can't kiss those fat cheeks enough, my ears can't get enough of her laugh. I cannot believe it's already been one year, and the years to come loom over me..... for I know, maybe more than most also in my time of life, how quickly this goes. Ok. Now I get to relive with you, dear blog (and friends) the day my Mary was born!
First of all, you should know, if you didn't already, that Mary was quite unexpected. My husband had had a vasectomy in Dec of 2009. We were done! No more babies (although, secretly inside, I wanted another). Five and a half months went by, and I became accustomed to the idea of only three and was very content. Then..... nausea..... a familiar nausea..... and a positive home test. Baby number four was on the way! That first day was hard, primarily because I felt like a failure (for some insane reason) to my husband who had this painful procedure for "nothing." And then I felt a tinge of selfish frustration about my body.... but Jesus reminded me, as He has before but never so clearly, that my body is not my own I was "bought with a price." But it didn't take long (one encounter with a sweet newborn girl at church that next Sunday) for me to be ecstatic about my chance to have one more beautiful baby! And I never could have guessed how beautiful she'd be.....
So Mary was due Jan 31st. We had hoped for the 28th, because all my others were born on days that were multiples of 7 (Aug 7th, Jan 14th, April 21st)... but the 28th came and past without a baby. However, at 2am on the 29th, I woke up with an intense contraction (VERY reminiscent of Daniel's labor). Went to the bathroom and noticed what seemed to be my water "trickling." I was pretty paranoid about labor starting because my previous labors had each been two hours shorter than the last (6hrs, 4hrs, and the last was 2 hrs!) and I had no idea how quickly this baby would come. So I waited just a bit... tried not to freak out.... drank some water... when I had another contraction, there was no doubt: my water had broken and was trickling.... I was in labor! So I wake Joseph and call my midwife. I thought to myself, as she answered the phone, "she seems really awake for 2:30am!" Well, that's because she was in Nacadoches at another birth! The baby had been delivered there but they needed to stick around just a little longer before they headed our way. Just in case you're wondering, Nacadoches is about an hour and a half from our house. So... needless to say, I was trying to take it easy. All that happened after that was a perfect example of Jesus' complete control over my body! It was amazing....
With my other three labors, once contractions started, there was no stopping them. I could sit, stand, walk, whatever and those babys didn't stop! But this time it was different. When I was sitting down, I had no real contractions. If I got up to go to the bathroom or whatever, they would come on strong. But while I sat in the chair, I would have a light contraction about every 15 minutes. My mom, dad, mother-in-law and sister-in-law were all there. So we chatted and waited. At about 3:00am, the midwife had called and let me know that they had left the other family and were headed our way. So we waited. At around 4am, I decide to get up and start walking around so that we could be progressing when the midwife showed up. And, of course, as I walked around the contractions came. So my midwife, Thalia, and her assistant, Jeri, showed up around 4:30 or so, checked me, I was a 6 1/2 (I think... the details get a little jumbled :) ). So I walked around a little more. Finally, the contractions were getting long and intense, characteristic of those transition contractions. I layed down and began to prepare myself mentally to push. It was about 6am when I started pushing. In 30 minutes I had 3 contractions, each 8-9 minutes apart! I was so confused.... in the past, my contractions during pushing were much closer together. After the first two, I just felt like I wasn't getting enough time to push before the contraction went away. So I just closed my eyes and prayed, "Jesus, You have been in control from step one, day one.... not just of this pregnancy and labor, but from the day of my own birth. You make this happen." So I just relaxed and breathed. That last contraction came and she was born! 6:30am, 9lbs 6oz, 21 1/2in. The most amazing part was when they lifted her up and faced her toward me, she lifted her head and her eyes met mine. I know she couldn't really see..... but I felt like she could... and I will never forget that moment.
I don't know why Jesus has done these things for me. I do not deserve even an ounce of the sweetness and joy He's brought me through all of my children. I will be grateful for the rest of my life, no matter what this life brings, for the experiences I have had so far.... and I wait in glad expectation for the things to come. I say this knowing, particularly right now, that the days ahead could be difficult beyond my current ability to understand. But, still, I know He is good and I know His purposes are good and far beyond my knowledge. So Praise You, Lord, for today, tomorrow and, even more, the Eternity I look toward..... the conclusion of my love story with You. Amen.
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